Mijn burn-out – week 1

Met mijn blog, mijn situatie en mijn burn-out wil ik jullie graag meenemen in het leven van iemand met een burn-out. Hoe ontstaat het, wat gebeurt er met je maar vooral hoe kom je erbovenop. Wat ik vooral hoop jij uit mijn verhaal niet alleen herkenning haalt maar misschien ook wel handvatten en tips, om jezelf hier doorheen te slaan of iemand hierbij te ondersteunen.

Daarnaast merk ik om mij heen dat er toch nog steeds een taboe heerst op het krijgen van een burn-out. Wat vreemd is omdat bijna iedereen wel iemand kent die dit meegemaakt heeft. Zelf ben ik er niet trots op, ik ben er niet blij mee maar ik wil er wel over praten.

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Vorig jaar begonnen bij mij de problemen. Zeer hoge werkdruk, veel meer werkzaamheden dan binnen mijn takenpakket vielen. Al snel probeerde ik minimaal 80 uur in 40 uur weg te werken. Je hoeft niet universitair afgestudeerd te zijn om te zien dat dit misschien wat lastig wordt. Zelf ben ik echt niet vies van hard werken, dus als een diesel ging ik gestaag door. Even doorwerken in de pauze, even een paar uurtjes in de avond, alles om overzicht en rust te krijgen. Normaal heb ik in mijn functie weleens te maken met geïrriteerde, boze mensen en daar kan ik ook goed mee om gaan. Niet alleen naar de mensen toe, maar ik kan dit zelf veelal ook wel goed relativeren. Het vervelende was dat ook in deze periode de politieke spelletjes begonnen binnen het team waarin ik werk. Ook hier kan ik nog goed mee om gaan. Tot het punt komt waarbij ik serieus uitgekafferd werd over zaken die niet goed gingen waar ik totaal geen bemoeienis mee heb. Waarom? Achteraf waarschijnlijk omdat ik een goed slachtoffer ben, iemand waar je frustraties op af kan reageren maar het mooiste is nog, iemand die ook zijn uiterste best gaat doen het probleem, ondanks dat het niet mijn probleem is, op te lossen. Uiteraard is deze collega hoger in de pikorde dus is het lastig hier vol tegenin te gaan. Daarbij ben ik wel politiek sensitief dus ik weet ook dat het voor mij en mijn andere collega’s beter is om gewoon mee te zwemmen, in plaats van tegen de stroom in te gaan.

De werkdruk werd na ruim een jaar weer normaal. De politieke machtsspelletjes, het uitkafferen en het steken van messen in elkaars rug stopte helaas niet naarmate de werkdruk daalde. Het tegenovergestelde gebeurde wel, er ontstond door de lagere werkdruk juist meer tijd om deze nare werksituatie nog verder uit te breiden. Dit klinkt nu ik het zo schrijf heel zwaar, maar zoals het hier nu staat is het nog een milde vorm. Uit mijn komende blogs zal waarschijnlijk ook duidelijker worden hoe vreemd deze werksituatie is. Mede omdat ik, nu ik na ruim een jaar vechten, toch afstand heb genomen en hierdoor zaken nog beter zie.

Nadat ik vorig jaar de “diagnose” overspannen kreeg van de huisarts mocht ik gelijk door naar een lieve dame van de POH-GGZ. De huisarts had ook geadviseerd om rust te nemen, dit kon ik niet. Dus werkte ik gewoon net zo hard door. Slaappillen en antidepressiva, daar heb ik ook voor bedankt. Ik wilde dit zelf oplossen, oké met iemand van de POH-GGZ.

Voor mij is dit ook het grote verschil tussen overspannen en een burn-out. Als je overspannen bent dat wil je wel presteren maar het is allemaal te veel. Bij een burn-out kun je gewoonweg niet meer. Nu word ik al naar bij het horen van de naam van mijn werkgever. Het voelt alsof mijn keel dichtgeknepen wordt, ik voel mijn hartslag per direct stijgen en ik voel mijn hart letterlijk bonzen van spanning en stress.

Na een langdurige griep, zo schijnt het vaker te beginnen, kreeg ik door dat het meer was dan een griep. Ik kon niet meer, ik wilde niet meer, ik ben op en leeg. Ik voel me als een oplaadbare batterij die elke dag 5 minuten op mag laden maar 9 uur moet functioneren en dat gaat niet. Ik ben emotieloos,  lusteloos maar vooral moe, zo moe dat slapen niet lukt en al zou ik een week onafgebroken mogen slapen heb ik het gevoel dat het nog niets op lost. En daarbij heb ik nog een imposante lijst met allerlei (vage) klachten.  Na lang wikken en wegen, weer nachtenlang piekeren daar heb je gelukkig de tijd voor als je toch wakker bent, heb ik de knoop doorgehakt. Ik ga me ziekmelden. Hier zag ik zo tegenop, het voelt zo zwak, zo ontzettend zwak. Maar tegelijk weet ik dat ik een keuze heb, natuurlijk kan ik me weer vermannen, dat heb ik immers een jaar lang al gedaan. Weer doorstrompelen, in het weekend proberen op te laden zodat ik er weer een week tegenaan kan, leven om te werken. Maar dat wil ik niet meer, ik kies er nu voor om weer te willen leven. Natuurlijk is werk belangrijk, maar om te kunnen werken moet je wel leven.

De definitieve ziekmelding, hier zag ik tegenop. De knoop doorhakken in je hoofd is een begin, maar je moet nog wel bellen. Omdat ik al een jaar bij de POH-GGZ loop is het raar om naar de huisarts te gaan om een soort bevestiging te vragen. Ik weet dat ik na mijn ziekmelding naar de bedrijfsarts moet en hij gaat zelf een conclusie trekken, ongeacht wat de huisarts wel of niet vindt. In mijn situatie heb ik deze stap dan ook over geslagen. Ik wil niet zielig gaan doen bij een huisarts om de bevestiging te krijgen. Ik weet wat er met mij aan de hand is daarvoor heb ik inmiddels genoeg “therapie” gehad en dit ga ik niet oplossen door zo door te klungelen. Eerst heb ik P&O gebeld, hier werd heel begripvol gereageerd, mijn situatie was bekend. Het kwam dus niet uit de lucht vallen. Ik zou snel een uitnodiging van de bedrijfsarts krijgen en moest lekker gaan uitrusten en wandelen want dat schijnt goed te zijn. En toen mijn manager, dit vond ik lastiger. Hij is deze periode erg begripvol geweest en heeft binnen zijn mogelijkheden echt wel zijn best gedaan. Ook ben ik niet de eerste die “omvalt” dus helaas weet ik ook dat hij het lastig krijgt mijn werk op te laten vangen. Maar zo heeft hij ook niks aan mij. Nadat ik de situatie uitgelegd had reageerde ook hij heel begripvol en eerlijk. Hij hoopte dat ik tijdens mijn griep genoeg uit had kunnen rusten, maar dit bericht kwam ook niet heel onverwachts. Ik was zo opgelucht, het begrip was wat ik nodig had om dit voor mezelf door te kunnen  zetten. Trots ben ik nog niet, zeker niet. Mijn omgeving wel want zij zien wat het privé met mij doet. Ik voel me nog een opgever, zwak en zelfs laf. Maar dit is wat ik moet doen.

Komende week ga ik nog wat werkzaamheden overdragen en mag ik al naar de bedrijfsarts. Graag vertel ik jullie meer over mijn traject. Hoe en waarom ik hier gekomen ben, hoe mijn dagen eruit zien en wat het met mij doet. Maar vooral hoe ik hier weer sterker uit kom.

Herken jij iets is mijn verhaal? Loop je zelf tegen een burn-out aan of iemand in je nabije omgeving? En wil je hierover praten? Laat dan een berichtje achter of een mailtje, misschien kunnen we elkaar helpen.

Liefs,

Tess

 

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    하지만 그러한 불법 대출도 있겠지만 요즘들어 새로이 자금을 마련할 수 있는 방법인 ‘폰테크’를 이용하시는 분들이 많아 지셨는데요 이 ‘폰테크’라는 것에 대해서 알아보겠습니다.

    우선적으로 어떠한 일을 진행함에 있어서 제일 중요한건 당연히 ‘업체’입니다.
    어떠한 업체를 이용하느냐에 따라 그 일의 결과가 달라지기 때문이죠
    폰테크 역시 어떤 업체를 이용하느냐에 따라서 그 결과가 달라집니다.

    그래서 다른 여러 곳들을 비교해 보고 찾은 가장 핫한 업체인 ‘다이렉트 폰테크’라는 곳을 소개해
    드리겠습니다.
    제일 중요한 ‘매입가’와 ‘안정성’의 조화가 잘 맞아 떨어지면서 가성비가 가장 좋은 업체이기 때문에
    선택을 했습니다.

    요즘 코로나로 인한 규제가 예전 보다는 많이 풀렸지만 그래도 아직 안심하기엔 상황이 좋지 않아
    대면이나 방문하기를 꺼려하시는 분들을 위해 비대면을 통한 방식으로도 진행이 가능하며,
    직접 매장에 방문하여 진행도 가능하고, 출장매입 또한 가능한 업체입니다.
    무엇보다 제일 중요한건 다이렉트 폰테크는 당연히

    정식 사업자등록 업체
    사전승낙서 발급 업체
    직접 매장을 운영하고 있는 업체
    이 세가지를 모두 충족하는 업체 입니다.

    만일 이 세가지가 모두 충족되지 않은 업체에서 진행을 할 경우 여러가지 불상사가 발생합니다.
    더군다나 비대면 같은 경우에는 소중한 고객의 정보를 이용하여 추후 요금폭탄이나 추가개통으로 인해
    사기를 입는 분들도 많고 심지어 개통 후 돈을 못받는 경우도 있으니 조심하셔야 합니다.

    다이렉트 폰테크를 이용하시는 분들의 이점은

    타 업체와 비교, 안정성 비례 가장 높은 매입가에 판매가 가능합니다.
    365일 연중무휴 24시간 심지어 주말에도 문의가 가능 하다는 점입니다.
    안전하고 빠른 조회와 진행을 통해 당일입금까지 가능합니다.
    다년간의 노하우로 폰테크진행 사후에 문제가 생기지 않습니다.
    전국 어디든 출장이 가능합니다.

    이 밖에도 여러 장점들이 있지만 가장 중요한 것들만 체크를 했습니다.

    다이렉트 폰테크 에서는 기타 사기방지를 위한 상담이나
    본 업체를 이용하여 진행하지 않아도 친절하게 설명을 해 주시니 폰테크를
    잘 모르시는 분들은 한번쯤 문의를 해보시는 것을 추천드립니다.
    사실 여러 업체와 광고도 많아 어느 업체를 믿어야 할지 모르는 분들에겐
    이것보다 더 좋은 것은 없을 것 같네요.

    폰테크를 진행함에 있어서 주의해야 할 점도 물론 있습니다.

    보장되지 않는 높기만한 매입가 경계하기

    많은 분들이 높은 매입가만 보고 찾은 업체는 대부분 이런저런 명목으로 매입가에서 차감을 하는데요
    보통 출장비를 받거나 출장비가 없다고 하고선 매입가에서 차감 후 지급하거나
    수수료나 다른 명목들 역시 동일한 방식으로 결국은 매입가에서 차감을 하는 경우가 대부분이라
    높은 매입가만 보고 진행을 하게되면 결국 피해가 발생할 수밖에 없습니다.

    유심은 꼭 챙기기

    폰테크 진행 이후에 유심칩은 어떠한 이유로든 본인이 반드시 챙겨야 합니다.
    그렇지 않을 경우엔 소액결제로 인한 요금폭탄 소위 유심깡의 악용 우려가 있기 때문에
    유심칩은 반드시 본인이 챙겨야 합니다.

    매입금은 바로 받기

    개통한 기기를 넘김과 동시에 그 자리에서 매입가를 입금받으셔야 합니다.
    내일 입금이 된다거나 기타 이런저런 이유로 입금을 미루는건 99.9% 사기입니다.
    처음보는 사람이 편의점에서 물건을 가져가면서 내일 돈을 주겠다고 하는 것과 마찬가지죠
    절대로 기기를 넘김과 동시에 입금을 받으셔야 합니다.
    그렇지 않은 경우엔 기기만 넘기고 돈은 입금받지 못하는 상황이 발생합니다.

    기타 다른 주의사항들 역시 많지만 가장 중요한 점들만 말씀 드렸습니다.
    나머지 자세한 사항은 다이렉트 폰테크에 문의하시면 쉽고 상세한 설명을 들으실 수 있습니다.

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